Teared up when my kitten started drinking water again. She’s getting better. God is good! Thank you!
i wonder why i feel this way. and as much as i want to feel different about it. I cant. Ive tried everything. maybe its me, not having hope that my next move to make it better will even work. maybe it just me doubting, but does doubt have that much POWER. idk. I just want to feel like, what im doing is the right thing and i want to feel like im on the right road to where i want to be. I keep getting mixed up and stuck in the middle. thoughts run through my head like..Is this just one of those times i need to stick it out through to the end or.. are these feelings signs that i should devote my time to something greater. im fearful. “what ifs” literally turn my stomach, i hate them. so many possibilities. Right now, i believe that i need to trust in God. Surrender everything. Keep faith. Forgive. Give. Expect that anything could happen at any moment but most importantly trust that God is with me through it ALL! He has a plan and what im going through is so relevant for his plan. I just want to surround myself with Godly people and positive beings. Where im at now, i cant keep my head up. but maybe thats my challenge. keeping my head up through hard times. such a mystery. What a wonderful lesson and value he’s trying to instill in me. truly grateful.
Relationships are not easy. So happy I have a boyfriend that talks everything out with me.
Send me your instagram names and ill follow if I thinks yours is Dope :)
Life is good, but yet.. I’m still not satisfied, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing! I’ll just keep striving for the feeling of being totally satisfied with life. Im doing pretty good so far. My relationship with God has never been so strong, i realize nothing is perfect, happiness is a choice, done sweat the small stuff and yolo jk lol Im so proud of myself. <3
Haven’t had a day off since Wednesday, and idk when my next day off will be!!! -_- On the bright side, ill get hella money! I just wanna relax when i have time off. but feels like i cant even do that. I just wanna chill and tumb, and fb and tweet and creep on ppls profiles lol. i also wanna go thrifting. its been SO long since ive went shopping forreal. ugh. I noticed i get easily stressed, hehhh. i have no patience. im tired. im annoyed. I just need ONE day to me self, with no one to bother me, with no distractions. I need time to meditate. Time to listen to what Gods been saying, I’ve been praying and asking God for answers alot more lately! AND I havent reallly took time to sit and listen to his answers. UGh, Im too young to have such heavy feelings and thoughts. Most likely there lessons to be learn but its jusss so frustrating. I litterally feel like im the only one thats going through this. which probably isnt true, well. Yeah. im gonna go shower and draw in my bed while watching cartoons til i fall alseep. anyways.. night everyone in the Tumbmosphere ;)
Hopefully i get this job at the Mall! Did a trial run today, it went pretty well. Working at a kiosk is so demanding. I can be a pretty shy person but I always push myself to step out of my comfort zone. BUT DUDE. it fucking sucks working at a kiosk sometime. i feel like people are just expecting you to scam them or something. So their automatic response when you’re trying to talking to them is ” NO THANKS!” or “Fuck naw nuggah”..lol so its hard to make sales. But our product is actually genuine and a reasonable price! whtevur ugh and my feet hurt and honestly the crappy lights in the mall gave me a huge head ache!! >.< but chyeahh, hopefully the lady hires me.. so i can have extra cash on the side!………jello
My darling, My daughter…
How are you, My beautiful child? I have missed you, I’ve been wondering where you have been. I feel as though I have spent so long watching you, being there for you, just waiting for you to notice Me.
You often feel that in a crowded room; you’re alone.. Don’t you notice me at the back of the room, as you dance about in your world? I’m watching you from a distance, from where you left Me when you pushed Me to the side, hid My word in your backpack, closed the pages of your journal when someone asked what you were writing; for fear of what others might think of Me, your Father.
I’m still here, sometimes I see you looking for Me, at the end of the day - when everyone else has gone home, and you’re laying in your bed, staring out the window. When you go into the bathroom, wipe off your make-up, and remember who you naturally are… I hear your heart looking for Me. I’m there My beautiful girl; when you stare at your reflection, and you cringe at the way your nose turns slightly out at the bottom, or the way your freckles aline perfectly across your cheeks. When you purse your lips at the colour of your skin, the shape of your hairline, and the way your lips don’t always rest perfectly together. You never seem to like what you see, and I try to reach out to you, and explain why I painted your face that way, why I intricately sketched your lips to fall together the way they do - but you’re too busy for me, it seems you always are these days… Splashing inks of red, creams, browns and blacks across your face; hiding the masterpiece that I created you to be; sometimes I worry you have forgotten who you truly are, My child.
I see you each week, stepping through your routines, meeting your friends, and making time to talk. I know you probably wish I wasn’t My dear, but I find Myself falling jealous to the time you have for everyone but Me. I wonder; do you remember last Sunday, when you promised we would have coffee together, when you said you were sorry for all the times you left me waiting, sitting and hoping you would arrive; I waited with my arms filled to overflowing. I prepared gifts for you each time you said we would meet… I wrapped grace in a parcel, perfectly and sweetly; for all the times you did Me wrong. I folded compassion and love into a neat bundle, with a ribbon of acceptance around it, gently tied with care and concern for you - for all the times you felt unwanted, unloved and alone, the times you felt no one cared… I waited for you, but you did not come; lately dear, you rarely come…
I fell to My knees for you today, I begged for your company in some kind of way.
I fell to My knees and I called out your name, hoping maybe, you’d do the same.
But I waited again, I sat waiting for you; in a crowded room, where no body knew; that you had promised Me your time, for a short moment or two. I waited patiently for you, because you are worthy of My time, I consider you much more important than any other creation of Mine. It was then and there, I stood to my feet, and found you somewhere new… From across the room, I noticed you… You had forgotten about Me, My princess - but I hadn’t forgotten about you.
I’ve played hide and seek with you; I promised I would find you, and surely I did. When it came to your turn to come to Me, My dear, I waited for so long - only to find, you lost interest in our time together. I’ve played tag with you; I chased you, and chased you, and chased you again, I’ll never give up chasing you… Not until the very end. But when you chased Me back; that’s what gave Me great joy, to have you reach out your arms to Me; calling My name, telling Me you want Me, you need Me… It was beautiful, but short lived. - I wonder where you have gone My child; don’t you know I miss you?
I know you love encouragement, inspiration and conferences with great speakers; you love the hype of My word, and the gift of My life - but when it comes to the crunch, and you’re the star of the show - I long to be front row and centre, proudly cheering you on. But instead you buy me no ticket, and there I am; waiting for you again, at the back of a crowded room.
My daughter, do you remember when you told me you couldn’t go on? When tears stained your cheeks, and you found it hard to breathe - you sat weeping from a distance, but all of a sudden, you found support? That caring friends hand on your shoulder; the text message from your sister, the facebook message you received; it was not merely a coincidence, it was a small reminder of how lovingly I care for you.
I miss you My daughter, I miss the way you would take time for Me; and keep it
I miss the way you would proudly tell your friends about My faithfulness, and believe it.
I miss you desiring Me, wanting Me, and Hungering for Me; desperately and longingly, wanting more of Me. You have forgotten Me, My Child…
My heart is breaking for you; please come back to Me?
I’ll be waiting where you left Me, at the back of the crowded room.
Lovingly and longingly, prayerfully and passionately signed;
Your Father, Your Lord, Your King, Your Best Friend, Your Comforter, Your Counsellor.
Actually teared up. HAD to Reblog